A Response To Violence And Tragedy

uscBy Will Davis (Guest Post)

Today, while walking, my thoughts were pulled toward the tragedies that occurred over the weekend. I saw something that caused this reflection. It was a quote by the His Holiness, The Dalai Lama, I saw posted, a quote that expressed my own feelings at first, “I am not ready to comment…” It was with another statement that has become quite popular by the Dalai Lama, “Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.”

Tragedy, it would seem is a double edge sword. One side cuts and is painful and bleeds. The other side gives cause for introspection, self-reflection. On either side, there will be detractors and champions. Too often tragedy is used as a platform to further some other ideology. And, it would seem that it is becoming all too common place. It would seem that we humans immediately go into denial when something tragic happens and also pluck up the immortality card and hold it very tight. For the great majority, those things happen somewhere else, far away, not here or to me. We can feel momentary sympathy, suck our teeth and shake our heads, then go on about our daily lives, nor do I think that, that is untoward. It is simply human nature.

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Overcoming The Illusion Of Control

joel1The following article recently appeared on the MyOutSpirit.com Gay Spirituality Blog:

“It feels like if we’re not trying to feverishly manipulate, steer, force and push every facet of our existence, we’re somehow failing at life.

{by Life & Executive Coach, Joel Readence}

So I’m going to start this article off with a confession. I’m a control freak. I’ve spent the vast majority of my life shamelessly trying to control outcomes and sometimes even people. I’ve even gone so far as to push against the passage of time, not so desirable weather conditions and even New York City traffic. Crazy, right?

This is something I work on every day and continue to work on with my clients. Why? Because our society conditions us to believe that in order to be successful at life, we must have a firm hold on the “steering wheel” at all times. Yes, a car analogy. Think of the car as your life and the steering wheel as your attempt to control it. If we’re not trying to feverishly manipulate, steer, force and push every facet of our existence, we’re somehow failing at life. This leads to stress, unhappiness and discontent as we try and fail to create perfection around our bodies, careers, relationships and successes. (News flash – perfectionism is a form of control.)

For me, control has showed up recently in the form of a particularly difficult and reoccurring circumstance in my life that I can’t do anything about. I am completely and utterly at the mercy of others in this scary situation and I have no recourse but to see it through, no matter how long it takes. And as difficult as it is to do, my job here is to trust that the universe (God, a higher power, Yoda, whomever you choose) has got my back. I need to accept that this situation is being presented to me so that I can learn from it and that it will conclude exactly how and when it’s meant to. I’m getting better, but it’s still a work in process.”

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